The Legend of Mr. P: How a Mini-Boss turned Adult Toy

In the dimming light, we set down our tools, swept the worktable clean of crumbs and chips, rubbed our hands together, and like Geppetto, looked down in the cardboard box. Full of adoration at our finished creation.

We know. This is probably the peak of our career. Before even releasing Resolutiion, our first game, one of the characters was made into an adult toy.

Meet Mr P.: the naughty mini-boss who grew up to be a big dildo.

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It began like so many good things in life: being drunk in Frankfurt.

A posse of publishers, interns, game testers and devs discussing the madness of character design. Absurd ideas escalating with quality craftbeer, and after 32 minutes of penis jokes we decided to do what many game-designers wanted to, but few dared do.

Action

Three years ago, Resolutiion was coming along nicely: we had a decent amount of biomes and combat was fast paced and felt good.

Apart from some bosses, though, the enemies were either humanoid or small flying critters — we wanted more variation, probably bigger, yet simple enough to animate.

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Some sketches later, a character emerged with a long face and tiny arms.

We placed him in a pile of rubble, spitting acid at everybody trying to pass by. Using Stardust —Resolutiion’s bomb— he could be unleashed from the rubble. Free to chase the player all over the place.

But how does such a strangely shaped fella move?

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A bouncy jog earned this new enemy the moniker “Mr. P”.

Then on we couldn’t go a week without the usual back-and-forth of design diatribes, and bug-fix fiascos, being bombarded by dildo jokes.

Our publisher was turned on to our juvenile humor. Things escalated until, one fateful night, the intern Jojo took business into her tiny hands.

Jojo “Hello Dil Do It, we’d like to implement a figure from our video game. It’s already shaped quite phallic, with small knobs as feet, a face and two arms. We’re hoping that the face can either be printed or carved in. The arms should align flat to the body, similar to vein or protrude alike.”

Dil Do It, a German company claiming when dealing with the most intimate things, nobody should be satisfied with products off the rack, answered promptly:

DDI “How would you feel about a representation of the face as outward pointing relief; mouth and eyes as nipples? Those would be simpler to execute while particularly G-point stimulating.”

Who would say no to that …

DDI “We would recommend a standard width of 3,5 to 4cm, with any length you enjoy.”

Erection

Following our foreplay a 3D model quickly emerged, to finalize Mr. P’s dirty details:

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DDI “Regarding the curvature and the feet: if we place them further to the front and flatten them, the whole piece would be able to stand upright.”

To which Jojo replied:

Jojo “That sounds great. Also, can we make the whole character a little shorter and thicker? We honestly don’t mind the 20cm length at all. Size doesn’t matter, right?”

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Satisfaction

Dil Do It turned out to be an experienced partner, with quick turnaround and practiced support. The whole project was affordable. Even pleasurable.

Mr. P shipped six weeks later. Gotta say unpacking Mr P., felt like, well what you’d expect: fucking weird.

And there we were. Looking down in that box. Having our Geppetto moment. With our own Pinocchio.

Meet Mr P.: the naughty mini-boss who grew up to be a big dildo.

A real, big dildo.

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Next up: the Bolshie-Anal-Beads, Mutant-King-Flesh-Light, and more.

Stay tuned.

Monolith of Minds

Monolith of Minds are Richi and Günther, two angry German brothers, telling stories from the Red Code, one frame, one line of code at a time, one line of copy at a time, since 2015.

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